Endings and Beginnings at Midnight: Everyday Magic, Day 906

It is 12:04 a.m., and I”m writing this from our back deck where I sit cross-legged in a chair and stare up at two enormous trees. The wind pours wave after wave through the tree to my right, Cottonwood Mel, and the moon rises through the the branches and thick leaves of the tree to my left.

I should be sleeping perhaps, but instead, I’m letting the wind bathe me free and watching the stars above and the lightning bugs below. It’s a time of big endings and beginnings for me, and the confluence of all, plus some misguided coffee in the afternoon, has landed me here, telling the field how much I love it, letting this land know how much it has healed and held me over many years.

Tonight, I had my last governing meeting for an organization I’ve been involved in deeply for 13 years, now on solid ground and blossoming, and me having realized close to a year ago that it was time to step off and make greater space for others. Following the Curve, a book of poems is at the publisher, another — one based on this very blog — is being proof-read, and my novel Miriam’s Well that I’ve been writing for 13 or more years, is coming out later in the year. Other endings abound, and all seem especially fortuitous. A chronic illness gig that has occupied me too often for many years seems to be, I hope I hope I hope, packing its bags and only making short appearances. The cars are almost paid off. The shed we wanted to build for 20 years is kinda sorta almost done. Bigger projects of the big dream variety in my life and work seem to be ebbing and flowing to new pulls of the moon.

But what is happening at this moment calls me attention: the wind suddenly surges like a standing ovation for the best concert in the world, an ovation that can’t stop itself. I think it’s over, but the fast air through my air and on my skin, the rocking branches of the trees, and the sound the sky makes tells me otherwise. Then, without warning, a few seconds of quiet before it starts all over again.

It’s a cliche, true that though, to say everything is beginning and ending at once, like the 19 minutes since I started this post, the moon climbing a few branches higher, a errant lightning bug sailing over the railing of the deck and back to the woods. While the endings are sometimes easier to see, at least in retrospect, the beginnings are especially mysterious, even tracking when the beginning begins. The chatter hum of the cicadas and the yawning roar of a distant plane tell me how little I know. Yet everything sings to and through me of how blessed I am to be here on a summer night with my best elemental friend, the wind.

Big Wind, Big Weather: Everyday Magic, Day 513

All night, the big wind blows. At times, the whole house seems to lift a little as the wind finds its way through every slat and crack. The trees are rocked hard, the dirt flies in the distance, and the animals sleep unperturbed.

Living in Kansas means living in big weather: large gestures from the sky as change passes through. Yesterday’s 70+ degrees will be tomorrow’s freezing rain. “Nothing lasts,” the weather seems to sing, shout and whisper, but all the same, I love listening to this wind that surges and drops, halts and powers on again.

While big changes can happen any time, there are months when such happenings accumulate to a screeching point, and March is such a month. Whether it’s lamb or lion, elephant or amoeba, March days and nights turn on a dime. Because of our non-winter winter, this March feels especially volatile. Why, there were tornadoes in February, and we’ve already had one prairie burn and may have another one later this week, a month ahead of schedule. Daffodils are springing upward, not yet blooming thankfully, but I did dream of hyacinth in blossom, large and fragrant in their timelessness. Yet the weather — always the weather — can deep-six anything that bursts forth or just lull along as if the air is always quiet and balmy. We never know.

Natalie walks by and tells me, “It’s getting pretty wild out there, Mom.” Yup, it is, the sky preparing itself for a 40-degree drop later today as it reminds us that it’s pretty wild in here too.

Big Wind All Night: Everyday Magic, Day 264

The house creaked when the wind blew, coming in waves all night. Occasionally, there was a lull that the coyotes filled with their calls to each other. Occasionally, there wasn’t a lull and that roar wrapped big around us. I slept and woke, feeling at times like I was suspended in the sky. At the same time, I love the big wind, a comforting sound that tells me I’m home, it’s a time of big possibilities and wide-hearted shifts, and that we live in the world of weather.

What Falls In The Fall: Attack of the Osage Oranges: Everyday Magic, Day 100

Sitting on the porch this evening with the heavy and fast wind coming and going, the branches swinging down and back out, and the leaves falling down in tumbles, I kept hearing them: giant thumps around me. No surprise, the Osage Orange trees hugging the woods here are full of Hedge Apples (who says apples and oranges don’t come from the same tree?). They’re big, green, brain-textured and human head-sized. Although I hate scary movies, I love the sound of green brains falling swiftly from the trees.