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Blown Away: Everyday Magic, Day 968

The week began with news that blew me away: a beloved colleague, who was the rock and heart of the college where I work, died suddenly. Then the wind picked up to the tune of 50-plus mph gusts that shook the house around my shaken heart.

The wind, part of a weather system called a bombogenesis, was so strong that I had to postpone a classroom visiting and reading in Hutchinson, Kansas, 200 miles from here, because it was too risky to drive without being blown off the road or into oncoming traffic. The grief my college community feels is so strong that it’s hard for many of us to stay on the road of whatever task we’re following, and we share our pain as well as love for our colleague through phone calls and emails.

There are times in life when we’re blown-away: blasted out of our usual ways of being or thinking, maybe even out of our minds too.  It’s hard to sleep, think, remember to turn off the stove or step outside into the wild yet grounding presence of the world. It’s scary and edgy, strange and familiar, and altogether a moment that shines and blares how vulnerable we are, how precious our lives, and how fast things can change.

Yet I also recognize that at such times, I’ve blown right into the center of my heart, however flawed and confused it is. There’s nothing like being blown away to make me stop in my tracks, see that they are somewhat arbitrary tracks to begin with, and reconnect with what matters: being kind, loving, and empathetic. Staying as safe as possible and off the roads to potential danger when the big winds come. Taking care of myself and others as best I can. Catching up on sleep, the dishes, and remembering to feed the birds.

Today the sun shines brightly and the wind is below 20 mph. But elsewhere in the world, people are being blown away by the mass shooting hate crime in New Zealand and the fast-moving floods swallowing whole towns in Nebraska.  Bombogeneses usually happen over the ocean, intensifying hurricanes, but they’ve proven they can happen over the land, and when it comes to human behavior, a sudden intensifying of damage and loss can also drop to new lows.

In the aftermath of such wild weather, we can recognize why why we’re alive, which I think always has to do with showing up, even with a trembling heart, for ourselves and each other especially when we’re most blown away.

A Lightening Up: Everyday Magic, Day 967

Tiny crocus from the backyard in a tiny vase Daylight Savings Time, beside being a kick that keeps kicking our sleeping patterns for a while, heralds a kind of lightening up, particularly if, like me, you're not an early riser. For those of us sleep-until-it's-been-light-for-awhile slackers, the time shift surprises us with more light at the end of the day, but I also experience this time of the year as a weight off my shoulders. Winter, which took up big-living residence in the house of time this year, is showing signs of packing some of her [...] Read More

What’s Right Livelihood Got To Do With It?: Everyday Magic, Day 966

I've been passionate about how the way we make livings speaks, argues with, or sings loud and proud through our lives. My first degree was in labor history because of how I was innately drawn to the often messy dilemma of work and life, and no surprise that over the years, I've returned to this question, especially when, decades ago, I stumbled across the Buddhist term "Right Livelihood." I just wrote a piece on this along with callings and some ways to follow the work we love into fruition, published this morning on Medium -- "Six Ways to Find the [...] Read More

Getting Through February (the Longest Month): Everyday Magic, Day 965

A moment yesterday (big round thing is rain barrel we're repairing). Note approaching deer. As life has repeatedly, February is the longest month. Maybe it's the overwrought repetition of cold, ice, and snow after months of winter. Maybe it's the shy hints of spring to come -- often snow drops before they get snowed under, or days like Thursday, when Harriet and I walked unfettered by heavy coats andg ear in 55 degrees -- before the heavy hand of the winter storm warmings land again. Maybe it's more personal because this is the month when my [...] Read More

Big Picture Days and Little Animal Moments: Everyday Magic, Day 964

I am watching a happy squirrel make his way through the birdseed buffet I poured along our deck railing, his tail in full fluff as he bends to gingerly pick up another black oil sunflower seed. Meanwhile, the snow around the legs of the chair melts slowly, the dog snores, and the cat takes in the big-picture field and sky.  It's an oasis moment in the middle of big picture days: stretches of long conversations with myself and others about how my work is evolving, where I feel led, and how I can discover more about the metaphoric wells in [...] Read More

There But for Grace: Everyday Magic, Day 963

Forest a few months ago with his Aunt Linda Eighteen years ago, we almost lost our youngest son Forest in a car accident involving black ice, three kids and me in a van, and the only spot on the road that led to a deep ditch. Our van plunged, flipped and spun around, ejecting five-year-old Forest through the broken window to land about ten feet away. He was unconscious, his jaw  broken in multiple place, and his brain bleeding in three spots. But through superb and swift medical care (including being life-flighted to Children's Mercy Hospital [...] Read More

In Praise of Mary Oliver: Everyday Magic, Day 962

"I started early -- took my dog" begins an Emily Dickinson poem that speaks to Mary Oliver's generous life and poetry. She loved her dogs, getting outside early to wander  for hours ("Tell me, what else should I have done?" she writes) and, along the way, inviting countless people to  love poetry early, or at least earlier than never. Oliver's writing is a gateway drug to poetry, gently and fiercely cajoling would-be readers into the wilds of the shining earth and living poem. I can't remember when I first encountered Oliver's poetry, but I know this: it wasn't when I [...] Read More

Looking for Patterns and Finding Them Everywhere: Everyday Magic, Day 961

A Mount St. Helens Vista When Ken and I went to Mount St. Helens with friends several years ago, I was dazzled by the patterned forests full of checkerboard green across green. Ken explained that this pattern, so unlike all other mountains of forests I've ever seen, was because all the trees were the same age, starting anew together after the volcano blasted all this land clear and bare. I'm a pattern-hunter, watching, tallying, and seeking to understand patterns that come through my life. This particularly appeals to me when happy things tumble together, like in [...] Read More

Surprises From 2018: Everyday Magic, Day 960

"So instead of New Year’s resolutions, I drew up a list for 2019 of experiences that had already passed: a record not of self-mastery but of genuine surprise. 1. My oncology nurse became a dear friend. 2. Even in the hospital I felt the love of God. 3. Zach is under the impression that I never get tired. These are my small miracles scattered like bread crumbs, the way forward dotting the path behind me." -- Kate Bolwer Surprises around the bend In reading Kate Bowler's evocative essay, "How Cancer Changes Hope" and revising poems for [...] Read More

Lightening Up for the Solstice: Everyday Magic, Day 959

Tomorrow the world turns over: our shortening days stop in their tracks, and the light begins lengthening those days for months to come. Even the dreaded month of February, out there on the near horizon, will be far brighter light-wise as our long nights tuck into themselves. At the same time, this is a year I've been lightening up, not so much weight-wise (although certainly warranted by all those height-weight charts). I've taken a year-long unpaid leave from Goddard College, a place I love immensely but after 64 consecutive semesters of teaching there or elsewhere, I was ready for a [...] Read More

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